☀️ The Nicole Magnusson Newsletter

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📆 Daily Issue 40 | ⏱️ Read time: 2 min

Unmasking the Warrior

Every morning I put warrior paint on my face and prepare to face the day.

I don’t let anyone see the woman underneath who is tired and scared.

Those days are over.

Now, I face each day with a commitment to maintaining certain values, certain goals, and a certain external facing persona.

I wake up each morning and stare at the ceiling.

Here we go AGAIN.

I don’t dread the day… but I’m scared of it.

Every day I’m scared that I won’t be enough.

That I won’t accomplish enough.

That I won’t improve enough.

That I won’t try enough.

Every day weighs 1,000 tons because when you’re trying to turn your life around, you do not have the luxury of relaxation.

Every moment of every day feels like overtime in the Super Bowl. EVERYTHING counts.

Every step matters.

Every breath matters.

Every word matters.

I feel the pressure of a million eyeballs on me, while simultaneously feeling the pain that no one cares.

Every morning this is the world I face.

But this is not the world I want to co-create… one in which I’m suffocated in self-awareness.

I want my journey of personal growth to be filled with…

Loving self-awareness,

Joy,

Friendship.

Lately, I have been praying to learn from love and joy, and I mean this with every fiber of my being.

I WANT to learn and grow. And I WANT to put in the work to be my best self.

But I cannot live an existence fuelled by shame, pain, and fear anymore. I cannot use these well-worn tools for change for one more instance.

I believe it's possible to learn from love instead of fear,

Compassion instead of shame,

And joy instead of pain.

Believing a new way of learning and growing is the first step towards change.

And I BELIEVE.

I really, really do.

If you are someone out there who wants to change with more compassion and love, I believe in you. You don’t have to be miserable to become a new version of yourself.

You may have to get a little uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to be as hard as your brain is telling you it will be. ;)

And in case you haven’t heard it in awhile: I BELIEVE IN YOU.

Trust the process and never, ever give up.

Keep inspiring,

Nicole