The Dance Between Love and Action: Finding God in the Midst of Pain and Purpose

Sorry for the late post today folks! Thank you for your patience and understanding. <3

Lately, I’ve been balancing the realization that we are all unconditional love and that we all need to “fight the good fight.”

Everything is real all at once- everything is love and there is nothing to do, and simultaneously there is immense suffering in the world and it is our responsibility to take action and help our brothers and sisters.

Throughout the day I embody the energy of “nothing matters” and “I have so much work to do” all at once.

It's different… its a state of presence and slight boredom, but also a state of intense passion.

These days, I am walking a lonely path. My heart, soul, and connection with God is my only guide and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ve spent far too many years of my life outsourcing my internal wisdom to psychics, friends, and anyone who would listen to me have a nervous breakdown over the phone. And those days are long gone.

But now, the Nicole who was wandering the world in a state of disillusionment has passed away.

This past year was the most incredible pain I have ever experienced- psychically, spiritually, and emotionally.

I thought I’d experienced pain before… but nothing like this. One day I’ll attempt to put it into words… once I’ve healed and distanced myself from the torture.

But as I stand here now… I am the most beautiful I have ever been. I am the most beautiful I have ever been because I am the most connected to God I have ever been.

I have searched for God deeply in this lifetime… I’ve fasted for 30 days, I’ve lived in an ashram, I’ve connected with plant medicine, I’ve lost myself in romantic love.

Like we all do in our own way, I’ve desperately sought the Creator of all that is with all my heart and soul.

And He’s finally with me.

I feel Him in a grounded and real way. I feel Him in my bones. I feel Him in my heart. I feel Him in my spirit.

I feel Him in a way I never felt when I was manic, experiencing Ayawaska in the desert, or with the love of my life.

She is seeking me- everywhere I go, in everything I do, and in every moment throughout the day.

And all She wants to do is love me.

And all I had to do is let her in.

All I want to do is love and be loved.

All I want to do is communicate this message high and low.

I don’t know how I’m meant to do this… but I know God knows things I don’t know yet about my path.

If you are in pain, fear, shame, or doubt- fear not. ❤

You are a child of GOD. You are fiercely loved. Unconditionally, violently, gently, and across all of space and time.

Get quiet. Let go of your ego. And let the love in that’s all around you… so your magic roller coaster ride into spreading love can finally begin.

Keep inspiring,

Nicole