☀️ The Nicole Magnusson Newsletter

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📆 Daily Issue 117 | ⏱️ Read time: 2 min

Why I’m Terrified of the Present Moment (And What I’m Doing About It)

I have a confession…

I am terrified of the present moment.

The present moment seems innocent enough. It just leads us to a series of more moments, but I can’t seem to accept it.

The present moment doesn’t seem innocent to me. It seems terrifying, malicious and even awful. There is something scary about the present moment that I need to run away from.

I don’t want to feel like this.

The present moment is all we have… so if I am terrified in the present then I am terrified in all my existence.

This is not a life.

But I can’t help it. The present moment feels too vast.

It's like the depths of the dark ocean. What’s down there? Am I safe? How can I get out?

The present moment is meant to feel like some blissful boat ride or a long walk in the sun, but instead, it feels like a battlefield.

It feels like I’m in the middle of a warzone and people are bringing me pinacoladas asking me to put my feet up.

“I CAN’T RIGHT NOW!” I want to scream back.

“I’M BUSY SAVING THE FREAKING WORLD AND TRYING NOT TO DIE”.

I want the present moment to feel safe for me, but if I’m honest I just spend every waking moment trying to escape it.

I’m trying to relax into it. I’m trying to keep both feet grounded. I’m trying to stay with the emotions that come up instead of running away.

But it's so freaking hard.

The present moment is so. freaking. hard.

If you’re struggling with relaxing into the present moment, know that you’re not alone.

It can be a scary place… everything we run from is stored up there waiting to pounce.

But we don’t have to tackle it alone. We can hug a friend, use a guided meditation, or pull up our favorite yoga video.

Keep inspiring,

Nicole