☀️ The Nicole Magnusson Newsletter

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📆 Daily Issue 20 | ⏱️ Read time: 2 min

Healing Shadows: Unravelling Resentment and Embracing the Present

Normally I’m lit up by my boxing class, but out of nowhere, I started to grow extremely resentful of my boxing teacher.

My inner rebellious teenager took the reigns…

Why is she telling me what to do?

Why am I even here?

Can she stop correcting my position and let me live?

After a few days of this pattern, I sat with myself to examine these thoughts. No one was making me do this… in fact, I was paying a lot of money for the privilege to do this.

So where was this resentment coming from?

The answer bubbled up so quickly and powerfully I could barely believe it.

The resentment of being told what to do came from my boss at my first sales job. She was draconian, merciless, and NEVER impressed.

I never felt like I was enough at that job, and everything felt like my fault.

Every day, I could barely breathe.

And now, here I was years later… projecting all of my past experiences onto my boxing teacher.

When the past creeps into the present

We’ve all had challenging experiences in our past that control how we act in the present.

Oftentimes, when emotions arise around a situation, they have NOTHING to do with that particular situation and everything to do with a situation we faced earlier in life.

Growth can only happen when we look at those “negative” emotions with loving awareness and welcome them into our experience.

When unpleasant emotional experiences arise…

We can lovingly open the door for them.

We can treat these emotions like weary travelers who have been traversing our subconscious for lifetimes.

We can fix them some coffee.

“Hello resentment, you look like you’ve been to Hell and back. Tell me about your journey”.

Many people don’t open the door for these travelers out of fear. They see how impoverished and worn down they are and people fear they’ll steal something or dirty their perfect home.

But those who dare to open the door, are rewarded with strength and wisdom.

Never let fear be your guide. And never let your past control you by keeping it in the shadows.

Trust that when your past pops up, you are strong enough to face it.

Trust the process.

And trust yourself.

Keep inspiring,

Nicole